New strategy

Everytime something annoys me, I vow to try to avoid doing that thing. Working under the premise that the things that tend to irritate me in other people are usually things that I am afraid I myself do. Also working under the premise that I can't change other people, but attempting to avoid the feeling that there's nothing I can do about my situation.

Example: if someone constantly one-ups me as a form of conversation, and I find that irritating that they seem to be always trying to maneuver me into the lesser position (be that "less stressed out," "less accomplished," "less interesting"), then be careful not to engage in conversation in that way. If I notice myself do it, make a conscious effort to make the next statement in some other way.

Example: If someone hurts my feelings or frustrates me by scolding me or correcting me, think of ways to avoid hurting feelings or frustrating people when I suggest a change or correction.

The thing is around here, as much as there are a million rules, vast oceans of things each moment don't have a specific rule attached (we're in "taste" school, and how do we arbitrate a rulebook of taste?!), and then we all have to decide amongst ourselves what to do (but of course as some people are more equal than others, sempais' notions of what we should do carry more weight than kohais'). Then we do that thing, and live with the consequences. That's the bit where failing better comes in-- which does not mean making the less-bad mistake--but means learning to be corrected with more grace and fewer excuses.


Not sure if I sound like a broken record with how often I reiterate the theme-of-the-blog, but then if I'm still learning it every time new, then maybe it doesn't feel so old to read about it either. Or maybe it does. Let me know. I enabled comments more fully (although if you publish anonymously, do please sign your name so I know who you are!)